recently things that happen to me..

Date: Thursday, May 14, 2009

First of all, i'm quite sad this few days..damm fed up and stress by family problem!! plus also sch too lah, i admit now a little stress from school but more stress on family instead!!

The reason for fed up is due to my dad..he is just dammm *WT...* i really totally cannot stand him!! damm hate him, why doesn't he understand any single things at all?? i just need some tools for my course then he started to fought with me in this matter like i got what why should you buy, ya he does have it i don't mind using his but the problem is that his multimeter is damm traditional which need to use quite a lot of time to find the accurate value..and also there is like some of the points the traditional meter doesn't have!! so ok..fought with him, then later he also blame my family that why everything need money why this why that!! i was like damm sad, ya why money, when we speak about money we'll definatly like hurt each other feelings even your own family member!!

So, after the fight, i'm feeling so low. i almost cry out loud why my life is so damm suxky!!why i must like live in hell like that?? I'm just a teenage which haven reach 18 yet!! and yet why i must think and suffer so much in the family?? like everything is my own expenses, i must take good care of my siblings too, i must also see both side of my parent face and also i must take good care of myself too cause of the stupid illness that make my last year life upside down!! i'm really going crazy soon, no one really can understand what i'm really feeling right now..damm sad really feel like need a shoulder to let me cry and a ear to listen to all my complaints but no one is there for me..no one..even yu hui my 'sister' who stay so close to me also put me aside..then when i wanna apply help like FAS in school, my dad just wouldn't corperate with me!!REALLY FEEL LIKE LIVING IN DAMM HELL HATE HIM, HATE MYSELF TOO!!

Then fanilly after the fight my dad say that i need to bring a sample to let him see so he will say whether what to buy, then in the end like no one wants to lent me to bring the tools home. but finally i found my saver of the day, JING TIAN! he promised tolent the thing home after he had brought it.When i heard that,i was like oh so greatful to him but then also quite worry too because the toolset cause too much..abt $100plus..what if i like somehow lost it or something spoilt?? oh my..i'm quite worry really..but still my dad wants it..no choice loh..

so ya..today came, i was like still a little sad in the morning but then when saw all my classmate, ok it cheer me up abit and soon i forget all about the problems, but then when i saw the ONOW teacher my head start to spin again!! oh man, why must everything in proposal?? why my life so sux!!then in the end about 5~7 of us went to library and disscuse about the project on this module but, it end up like no solution had came up..eventually we waste our time>.< but still we do some thing lah..a little, a camp loh..that's it..then no more le..if need anymore details we need to wait for tomorrow!!so now we just had to wait loh..*WAITING*WAITING*

Then when we finish the jones gang came,ok we spent a few minutes outside the library to tell them the update ya and jing tian pass me the toolset i'm really happy that i have this kind of classmate hahas.. ya, in the end of the day, i went home and pass the tools to my dad then he say until very proud that oh all this can be buy even much more cheaper but still he end up telling me in a angry voice that you go schol buy lah!! i don't care about you le..then i was like damm sad again, cause he just push all this things to me back and say that tell me to use my own money to buy this toolset ...no support from them!! oh, why does i nedd to go throught this kind of stuff?? i really wanna help now!! oh man..so now still wondering am i still going to buy the stuff or?? really wondering and also thinking will my life improve ma? will ma?? can anyone tell me?? i guess no ba..

No i must jia you!! jia you and survive so that i wouldn't be look down by my family member..i must jia you!! be strong, be more more independent^^ so jia you ba FANG YI!! you can do it de..^_______^(forcing smile but one day it will be a more beatiful smile^^)

~With Love,Fangyi~